Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Times, they be a changing...

The last of the paperwork FINALLY went in to our caseworker, Ellen at DCS. Now we wait for a call from the Social Worker to schedule the homestudy. It feels good to be making progress after taking such a long break.

I have to admit I’m nervous about getting to know a new social worker. We have only ever had one social worker, Miss Ruth. She is a wonderful advocate for children and our family. We see eye to eye about what is best for my children and she has always been a valuable sounding board for me. She is one of the great blessings of my adoption experience and I hold her in very high regard.

After ten years together, it feels like I am being disloyal to Ruth, but DCS has their own social workers and you don’t get to choose.

There is also a subtle, but remarkable difference between adopting publically and privately. When I adopted in Russia, I was a paying customer. That might sound cold, but it’s true. I was contracted with various individuals for various services. Once they performed them to my satisfaction, they would be paid. It gave me a tiny feeling of power in this out of control world of adoption. I had, at least what felt like to me, an army of people doing their best to find me a child. Because that was their business. Finding children for parents.

Now the tables have turned. The job of DCS is to find PARENTS for CHILDREN. It might seem like the goal is one in the same, but let me tell you. It’s not! The wheels turn slowly and there’s not a lot you can do to speed them up. But I know child or children meant to be ours will be ready for us when we are ready for them. I often wonder who they are and what they’re doing. I wonder if they’re eyes are light or dark or somewhere in between. I wonder if they’re sad, or sacred or hungry. I wonder if they are loved or merely victims of a society that values the rights of parents who hurt them more that it values their right to be protected.

All I can say is stay tuned for further developments. It might be awhile.

No comments:

Post a Comment