Sleepless nights and my favorite adoption quote...

Buddy has been been up at night a lot this week. He has an ear infection and he's been having "growing pains" in his legs. After a couple of sleepless nights, I'm pretty much "knackered" as my New Zealand friends would say.

Last night I was up with Buddy until the wee hours of the morning. He's got a bad infection and Mommy is bleary eyed today. He's been to the doctor and he's on the mend with hardly a hitch.

Thinking about sleepless nights got my thinking about my favorite adoption quote...

"Our children are not ours because they share our genes...they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works." --Anonymous

I love that word. Audacity. President Obama used it in his book, "Audacity of Hope" which someday I hope to have a spare moment to read. Maybe when the kids are in middle school.

Dictionary.com defines it as: au⋅dac⋅i⋅ty  [aw-das-i-tee] –noun, plural -ties. 1. boldness or daring, esp. with confident or arrogant disregard for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restrictions.

Adoption is not for those who can easily accept the status quo but for those who are not bothered by challanging it. We have the courage to do what others would not or would only imagine. That's what most of us who adopt, do. Especially those of us who adopt on our own. Single parenting is not for the faint of heart or faith. It is also not for those who require great amounts of sleep!

But it is for those of us to dream of a life bigger than the one we have--for those of us who, though not unafraid, still search for our own dream and build our lives as we envision them.

I'm finding that each time is a little different and takes a different kind of courage. The first time it was mainly fear of the unknown. The second time it was mostly fear of how this new child would effect the one I already had and the fact he was a boy. I haven't had such a great track record where men are conserned :-)

This time its all a lot calmer and I am worrying less. If my children have taught me anything, it is to have faith and hold on for the ride.

Ggggrrrrrr!

Blogger is hating me today.

The post I worked on last night for an hour didn't post this morning as I had planned.

I did have a bit of good news though. The Case Worker at DCS is processing my paperwork today. She said it looks really good. Only one paper was included that didn't need to be and she is going to send that back to me so I can send it to the correct place.

The only thing I have left to do it finish up the training and have the two homestudy meetings. One will be at the social workers office and one will be at the house with the kids.

I'm a little nervous about that one. Not about the house, or the kids...but in 10 years of adopting and post placements, I've only ever worked with Ruth, our beloved social worker/mentor/now friend. Ruth and I were always on the same page when it came to my family, the roll of God in creating it and pretty much everything else. Now there's going to be somebody new to get to know. I have to trust that's going to go fine. I'm finding it easier to maintain calm so far. :-)

I'm still a control freak when it comes to the paperwork and getting things done but I am working on having faith it will all be done in the right amount of time to find the child waiting for us.

I'm breathing deep and trying to enjoy the process. So far so good.